Chapter 21- The Lives of the Dead

First of all, this chapter is a paradox! Lit term cha ching. When O'Brien says this, he is talking about the memmories and stories that people have left behind. When they are being revisited, the people in a sense come back to life. I had not read this chapter when I blogged about the chapter Ambush. It talked about how O'Brien killed the man but he wasn't really dead. I was extremely confused. I now know what he means. He's alive because his story is alive. O'Brien does the same thing with Norman Bowker, Curt Lemon, Kiowa, Lavender, and even Linda. He brings these people back to life through his writing. This whole book was his own story. Through this story, he can never die. His story will live on and so will he. "I realize it is as Tim trying to save Timmy's life with a story."

Chapter 20- Night Life

I really like Rat Kiley. I feel like he is one of the more harder workers. Not only does he have to worry about getting killed, but he has to worry about everyone else not getting killed. This stress and worry finally got to him in this chapter. Rat is "seeing dead people". Except he is seeing their insides. I would be freaking out, too, if I was Rat. After becoming friends with all his fellow soldiers, I could see why it is so hard for him to work on them. He has seen three of his friends die. Rat was having dreams about bodies and he would see them when he was awake, too. He's going insane. Who can blame him? If you can't stand to see the pictures that are constantly flashing through your head, what do you do? All of his fellow soldiers couldn't blame him either. Rat had helped them all out at one point or another and he deserved a break. "He took off his boots and socks, laid out his medical kit, doped himself up, and put a round through his foot." Something inside of him snapped and the war quickly became too much for him. I'm sure that the other soldiers envied him. They had seen the same things he had. They were all probably going a little insane, too.

Chapter 19- The Ghost Soldiers

There are a lot of things going on in this chapter. I want to break down the cause O'Brien's revenge.
First of all, he talks about getting shot twice. I can't imagine what it would be like to get shot but I do understand where he is coming from when he gets angry at Bobby Jorgenson. The first time O'Brien gets shot, Rat takes care of him right away. On the plane to the hospital, O'Brien is not in much pain at all. He says his wound was throbbing and that is it. That is a huge difference from the second time he gets shot.
If i was Bobby, I would probably be slow and nervous, too. He just got there and he doesn't know any of the soldiers. I'm sure he was just trying not to mess up. Not to mention he didn't have nearly the experience that Rat had. O'Brien got such good treatment the first time and so that is what he is expecting again. Instead, he attended to very slowly and forced to lay there and be tortured by the pain.
When he gets back from the hospital, he's already mad because he doesn't feel like he fits in as well as he used to. He had been gone quite a long time. And we know in that time all he did was lay there and think about how he was going to get back at Jorgenson. If I were him, I would have made a plan of just how to get back at him. Either that or just walked up to him and punched him in the face. O'Brien is obviously not just going to get over the pain that Jorgenson put him through. He goes up to him the first time he sees him and Jorgenson basically apologizes and says how he was new and inexperienced. I love how O'Brien says "I hated him for making me stop hating him." (pg.190) He just wants to get him back really good and then move on with it. And that is exactly what he does.

"The need for revenge kept eating at me."-Anthropomorphism. Wow that's a long word.

Chapter 19- Field Trip

He brings his daughter to Vietnam with him to revisit some old memmories. I think he is just trying to get past some things that still bother him. He visits the place where Kiowa died. If I was his daughter Kathleen, I would be upset about this, too. No doubt it still smells awful. Not to mention it's a field...who cares. I would probably take the time to explain what happened in that field. He can tell the whole world in a book but he doesn't want to tell his daughter. I wonder why that is. I like how he buries Kiowa's moccasins. It's symbolizes him leaving his good friend behind. Sending them off into the river is like him letting go of all the things he'd experienced in Vietnam. But above all, I think he was letting go of his guilt of Kiowa's death.

"when we reached the jeep, Kathleen turned and glanced out at the field. 'That old man,' she said, 'is he mad at you or something?' 'I hope not.' 'He looks mad.' 'No,' I said. 'All that's finished.'" (pg.179) This is also a symbol. He is saying that all the war is finished and all the anger has been left behind a long time ago. This is a big step for him.

Chapter 18- Good Form

He's attempting to explain his writing style. He comes back to the man that he "killed". I'm so confused about this man. Did he kill him or not? A couple chapters ago he was raving about the immense guilt he felt. Now he says "I watched a man die on a trail near the village of My Khe. I did not kill him." (pg 171) SINCE WHEN DID YOU NOT KILL HIM? You literally had a chapter called 'The Man I Killed'. Obviously he can't make up his mind. He threw a grenade at him there is no getting around the fact that he killed this man. When his daughter asks him if he has ever killed anybody, he tells her "of course not". Is this the truth or does he just want it to be the truth?

Chapter 17- In the Field

The search for Kiowa. Everyone is blaming himself. Kiowa was one of there good friends and now he is gone. He is now the 3rd member to die. And to make it worse, they can't even find his body. And to make it even MORE worse, he is buried underneath discusting stuff. They walk back in forth through the fields trying to find their friend. I can't believe that Azar starts cracking jokes. If i was one of the other guys, I would have punched him in the face. It suprises me that they all aren't a little more emotional. Oh yea I forgot, that would be shameful and embarassing.

I don't really understand the part about the boy and the picture. Where did he come from? And why can't his lieutenant name him? He desperately searches for the picture of his girlfriend and from reading his emotion you can tell he won't stop until he finds it.

When the rest of the soldiers find Kiowa's body, it is a long slow process to dig him out. The attitudes of the men are astounding. After they dig him up a piece of his shoulder is missing and his arms, chest, and fast were cut with shrapnel. And what do they say? "Well," Henry Dobbins said, "it could be worse." That line was extremely shocking to me. Being buried alive under a field of human waste seems as bad as it can get.

"The rain fell in a soft sad drizzle." -Personification
I could also argue that that quote deals with the mood of the passage.

Chapter 16- Notes

In this chapter we learn that the previous chapter was based off of a man who responded to one of O'Brien's books. He ended up hanging himself. I guess adjusting to society was just to hard for him. After coming back from the war, he missed it way too much. They say that the war changes you. I guess it changes you for good. Reading the last chapter and realizing the sadness this man was going through, I figured something like this would happen. Norman Bowker was so seperated from society that he didn't even want to go home to his dad. All he wanted to think about and talk about was the war. It really makes you re-think the last chapter and understand the emotional strain Bowker was going through.

Chapter 15- Speaking of Courage

I find the chapter extremely sad. It is about a man trying to find a way to come back home. He's trying to come back mentally. As he drives around and around he can't figure out a way to just step back into society agian. After having been gone for so long, he is witnessing what he is missed. The soldier has so many stories to tell and he just wants to blurt him out to anybody he sees. It's sad how he plays out the conversation in the head and nobody cares or wants to listen to him. I wonder if this is how every soldier felt coming home. Relief and sadness. How do you just step back into your old town years later? They are all changed men with changed feelings. As he goes around the town, he sees people doing average things. I think he is feeling envy at this point. He wants to fit in and become part of what he used to be.

The mood of this chapter is what is so powerful.
The mood is lonliness. The man doesn't believe he fits in and doesn't remember how to fit in.

Chapter 13- Ambush AND Chapter 14-Style

Chapter 15 is basically a repeat of everything that was said in chapter 14. It was the immense guilt that O'Brien felt for killing a seemingly innocent man. That story is the motif of the book. It keeps being brought up is emphasized over and over again.

Chapter 16 is really strange. Most of the area had burned down and everything was silent. The only thing there was a young girl...dancing. "She took tiny steps in the dirt in front of her house, sometimes making a slow twirl, sometimes smiling to herself." (pg. 129) I don't understand this part. This girl's whole family had just been murdered and she is dancing outside of her house as the bodies are being carried out. This is definitely SITUATIONAL IRONY. I don't know about you, but that's not something I would expect to happen. The only possibilities I can think of for why this is happening is maybe it is some type of ritual they do. It could also be how this girl is coping with her family's death. Either way, its creepy and confusing. When Azar mocks the girl, I was really glad to see that Dobbins made him stop. It was disrespectful for him to do that.

Chapter 12- The Man I Killed

I don't really understand this chapter. O'Brien is traumatized by this man that he killed. He sneaks up on him in the brush and throws a grenade at him. He kills him for no reason. Isn't that what war is all about? Killing people for no reason? I don't understand why this man is so different than all the other men he shoots at during battle. He describes this man in depth, too. Almost like he knew him or something.

Why did he throw the grenade in the first place? This man was obviously minding his own business. I think the reason he goes in such depth about him is because of the amount of guilt he feels. All of the other soldiers are giving him slaps on the back because of how much he hurt the guy. That just rubs it in for O'Brien.

Kiowa trys to make things better by telling him he knows how he feels. He tells him to stop staring and to just leave it behind because there is nothing he could've done about it. O'Brien doesn't even respond to him. The amount of guilt that he is feeling is overwhelming him.

Chapter 10- Stockings AND Chapter 11- Church

I decided to combine these chapters because they were short! So here we go...

STOCKINGS:
This chapter is about a man named Henry Dobbins. Henry Dobbins was:
-a superb soldier
-not sophisticated
-big
-strong
-full of good intentions
-really fat (second time thats mentioned)
-slow
-plodding along (3rd time)
-believer in virtues and hard labor
-drawn toward sentimentality

He wore his girlfriend's pantyhose around his neck. "The pantyhose, he said, had the properties of a good-luck charm." (pg. 111) They reminded him of his girl back home and at night he would use them as a pillow. The other soldiers made fun of him until one day he got extremely lucky in battle. "It turned us into a platoon of believers. YOu don't dispute facts." (pg.112) Later his girlfriend dumped him. It really hit him hard. But he still contiuned to wear the stockings because he was convinced the magic didn't go away.


CHURCH:
The soldiers take shelter in a church and they are aided by some monks who don't speak english. Kiowa is freaking out because he is extremely religious and he says how it doesn't feel right to be taking shelter in a church. "It's bad news," Kiowa said. "You just don't mess with Churches." (pg.113)Kiowa and Dobbins have a talk about what they want to do after the war. Dobbins talks about how he thinks he wants to joing the Church and become a monk. It seems like he wants to join the Church more out of security rather than actual drive. Kiowa is probably more religious than Dobbins and he says how he could never see himself doing that.

Chapter 9- Sweetheart of the Song Tra Bong

This whole chapter is about a girl named Mary Anne Bell and the effect that the war had on her. She was young and naive. She came to visit her sweetheart Mark Fossie and ended up changing to the point where nobody could recognize her. She let the war take over her mind and let it become her only priority. "she wanted to penetrate deeper into the mystery of herself" (pg. 114) O'Brien is making the point that war will inevitably change a person. He uses this story as an anecdote to show the readers an example of how extreme a person can be changed because of war.

I feel bad for Fossie. The poor kid just wanted to bring his girlfriend over because he was lonely and missed her. They were highschool sweethearts and already knew that they were going to get married. He let her have her fun by exploring Vietnam and he taught her all about the war. One night she went out exploring and never came back. When he found her she looked different, acted different, but most importantly felt different. She no longer loved him as he loved her. It seemed that the war had stolen her from him. It had changed her and gave her a new love. I would be really mad if I were Fossie. She selfishly walked away from the man she promised to marry. And better yet, she fell in love with the world he introduced her to.

Chapter 8- The Dentist

This chapter is hilarious. Curt Lemon is terrified of the dentist. A dentist comes and they are ordered to be inspected. Lemon is all tensed up while he is waiting to go. When he gets in their, he faints before the dentist even touches him. That is so embarrassing. Especially for a soldier who is supposed to be afraid of nothing.

TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER he tries to "redeem" himself. He later comes in complaining about a toothache and how he desperately needs his tooth pulled. The dentist says he can't find anything but Lemon insists that he pulls his tooth. So as a result, the dentist pulls his perfectly good tooth. Lemon is not the sharpest tool in the shed.

This shows how shame is Curt Lemon's absolutely worst fear. He would rather die then be embarassed. "Anyone else would'be laughed it off, but for Curt Lemon it was too much. The embarassment must've turned a screw in his head." (pg.84) He did whatever it took to make up for his shame.

How to Tell a True War Story- Chapter 7

There are two stories in this chapter that stick out to me the most so I'm just going to talk about them.

1) Curt Lemon- that had to be the the most traumatizing thing ever to watch. To see one of your friends get lifted up and blown to bits all in like 10 seconds. And then to have to clean it up. That had to have been scarring. For O'Brien we know it was. "But what wakes me up twenty years late is Dave Jensen singing 'Lemon Tree' as we threw down the parts."(pg. 79) That really freaks me out. They watched him step out into the sunlight and the disappear up into the sky forever.

2)The baby buffalo- the imagery that is used to tell this story is insane. You which part of the body is getting blown away in which order. It really got me when Rat switches to the automatic. Completely destroying the thing. He just keeps taking blows to the animal until it is dead. The saddest part is the animal doesn't moan or complain. It just takes it. The buffalo symbolizes their group and the machine gun symbolizes the war. The gun just keeps picking off parts of their group until they collapse and give in. I think this is the attitude they start to get after having one of their friends die right in front of them. They take out all of their frustration and doubt on this baby buffalo. Rat starts crying after he kills the buffalo. I think he knows he is losing it and he just wants to give up.

This chapter shows the reader how deep the emotional side of war gets. The gore is intense but the emotions of each soldier is what needs recognition.

(but wait) Friends!- Chapter 6

I CAN STILL CONNECT THIS TO THE OFFICE! WOOHOO!

okay after the duel Andy and Dwight become friends. They become eachother's 'wingman', if you will. Dwight takes Andy camping which is extremely hilarious and they also promise not to share girls anymore. Jensen and Stunk came together after their hardships, too. This is ironic because the people who hated eachother more than anybody at first, became the best of friends.

They made a pact that if the other one was seriously hurt, like in a wheelchair, then the other one would kill him. I don't understand why just because you were in a wheelchair you would want your life to end. I know that you would be in a lot of pain but I would still want to keep living. They even drew it up on paper. It was all talk. They both knew when it came around to it they weren't actually going to kill each other. So when Strunk stepped on a bomb and blew his leg to bits, Jensen realized what he actually signed up for. Good thing that Strunk died on the aircraft because I don't think he would have actually done it. Even Strunk was begging him not to kill him. Like I said, they both realized what they had signed up for and backed out.

Enemies- chapter 5

A CONNECTION TO THE OFFICE!

okay remember when andy and dwight get in a duel because of angela? this is what that reminds me of. They are so alike that they can't help doing the same exact thing. Lee Stunk and Dave Jensen get into a fight because of a missing jackknife. It is an epic battle that includes nose breakings and machine guns but in the end they settle it. Andy and Dwight decide to do the same thing and take all the anger they have at eachother and turn it towards angela. I think that Stunk and Jensen were never really angry at eachother, i think they were angry at the war. I mean i'd be kind of p.o.'ed if i was roaming around the forests in 100 lb. suits. So as a result they decide to take it out on eachother as some sort of outlet.

this is an example of external conflict!

a ridiculously short chapter but nonetheless an office connection was made.

On the Rainy River - Chapter 4

This chapter was one of the more pleasant chapters for me. I liked how I could feel the emotion he was going through. When I put the book down after reading this chapter i thought about what I would do. Would I swim to Canada of would I face the world and be brave. I would like to think that I would go to war like O'Brien did but it's hard to say. The week he spent with Elroy was the most important week of his life. He was so close to throwing away one of the most valued part of his life and he had no idea. Elroy knew. Elroy was like his own guardian angel in that I don't think he would have let O'Brien throw his life away laying down."one thing for certain, he knew I was in desperate troubele. And he knew I couldn't talk about it." (pg. 47) He didn't talk to him about it but he looked at him as if to say "get your act together and do what you know has to be done."

The scene in O'Brien's head where the crowd is cheering for him put in perspective the idea of shame. He knew that if he didn't fight he would shame his family and shame himself and that was the greatest fear of all. "I would go to the war- I would kill and maybe die- because i was embarrasesed not to." Some could argue that his decision was made for the wrong reason. But either way, he was right. He would be looked at as a coward and that was simply something he wasn't going to be able to live with.

This chapter stood out to me as a flashback. He is reminiscing on the crucial decision he almost didn't make.

Spin- Chapter 3

My favorite part of this chapter is the simile. It ties in the title and it just makes sense. Which is rare in this book. "On occasions, the war was like a Ping-Pong ball. You could put fancy spin on it, you could make it dance" (p. 31). This chapter consists of a whole bunch of small stories. Some are sad some are happy. O'Brien does a good job of balancing a bad story by throwing in a good one right after. When he talks about the sadness of the boy with one leg then he tells a funny story about Sanders and his lice. There are a lot more like this to follow. Another peaceful story about a man and a nurse, then a rain dance and the gruesome buffalo. These stories are told to show the depth of the war and how it is not just shooting and bloody battle.

I really like the last paragraph of this chapter. O'Brien goes into the importance of stories. "Stories are for those late hours in the night when you can't remember how you got from where you were to where you are. Stories are for eternity when memory is erased, when there is nothing to remember except the story" (pg. 36) This makes a lot of sense to me. Stories connect us to what we can not live out but need to understand.

Love- Chapter 2

Throughout this chapter we see examples of how the love of the soldiers stays consistent their whole lives. Lieutenant Jimmy Cross still loves Martha years and years after the war has ended. He had burnt her picture after Lavender had died out of guilt but when he returned she gave him a new one. Martha was Jimmy's escape during the war. When it got tough, he would stare at her picture or the good luck stone that she gave him. He would contemplate her feelings for him and wonder what could of been if he had acted differently toward her. When he returns from the war he meets up with her at a high school reunion and she still does not love him. He confesses that he will never move on. I think that the war did this to him. Years of loneliness with nothing else but your thoughts and some souvenirs from home force you to focus on the only happy thing you once had or wish to have when you get back home.

Start Off- Chapter 1

The beginning of the novel is very interesting to me because at first i thought that Lieutenant Jimmy Cross was going to be the main character. The author brings up the Lieutenant's love back at home. This gives us the softer version of the officer right off the bat. It then goes into saying the burdens of each soldier and the specific amount of weight that each man carried. Chapter 1 is all about the material things that the soldier carries. The rest of the novel is about the spiritual things that they carry. This is interesting to me because when presenting each material that the soldiers carry, the author simply lists them and does not pause or elaborate on anything, almost like he is trying to show the unimportance of these materials. When the author starts getting into the materials that are specific for that soldier, you start to learn more about him. The Lieutenant carries a good luck charm from his love Martha, Kiowa carried his New Testament Bible, Dace Jensen carried his vitamins, Rat Kiley carries his doctor kit, and Henry Dobbins carried his girlfriend's pantyhose. Each of these items tell the reader a little bit about that soldier.